I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
