There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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