Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Holy shit dude........stairs
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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