His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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