3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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