I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
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