addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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