ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
