Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
