He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
