I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
