Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Don't tell me you're on acid again
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize