then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
