# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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