wake up i wanna do it froggy style
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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