____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
