Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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