2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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