Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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