He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
