I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
