are you still at the devil's house?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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