wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
