I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
