should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
