wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
