Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
