I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I deserve this hangover.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
