So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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