do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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