the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
