I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
