Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
