Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
