This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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