theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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