Tell her she can't have a vagina
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just had sex on a roof
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
