Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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