why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
