His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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