who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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