This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
