well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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