could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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