It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
