I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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