I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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