just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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