im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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