maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
