you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
