I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
