All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
