I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
