Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
