there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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