i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
