my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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