I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
im six kinds of drunk right now
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
