that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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