Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
