I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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