he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
