I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
