how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
