There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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