No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize