is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
