No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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