i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
