Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
