wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
