Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

dying kittens.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.

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(775): View more from Nevada

He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors

(1-775): View more from Nevada

Fuck he won the bet

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up

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(519): View more from Ontario

woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass

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(519): View more from Ontario

There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.

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